


How to Listen

by flecksofpoppy



Series: The Air Outside [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alpha Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Sex, Canon Era, Hurt/Comfort, Knotting, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Erwin Smith, Omegawin, ackerbond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-10-31 04:18:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10891545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flecksofpoppy/pseuds/flecksofpoppy
Summary: “He’s going to try and think his way out of this,” Hanji predicts, her voice sober.And Levi knows damn well that she’s right.(Companion piece to "How to Breathe," told from Levi's POV)





	How to Listen

**Author's Note:**

> This is a companion piece to the omegawin fic [How to Breathe](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10841148) I wrote a few days ago, but told from Levi's POV.
> 
> What really happened:  
> LostCauses was like, Levi's point of view?  
> And I was like, point.
> 
> And then, WHOPS, words!
> 
> (Also, I'm sorry for any typos! I've edited, re-edited, and re-re-edited this giant thing, and if I read it again my eyeballs are gonna fall out of my head. ;_; )

“Erwin’s in heat.” 

Levi lets the words process slowly, not quite sure he heard right.

“In heat,” he echoes, as if repeating the statement will somehow help it make more sense. “Erwin.”

Hanji adjusts her position restlessly where she’s leaning against the lab table, eyebrows pinching together in consternation as she studies Levi.

“Yes,” she replies, her eyes searching and tone uncertain. “An _omega_ heat.”

Levi just mirrors her stance, folding his arms impatiently, a sense of urgency starting to build. “Where is he now?”

Hanji hesitates, and Levi realizes she’s still waiting for his reaction—or _any_ reaction—to the word “omega.” Her expression is pensive behind her glasses, increasingly solemn the longer the silence extends, and with every moment that passes, Levi’s temper flares incrementally. 

“He’s getting settled,” she finally offers in the way of an answer. 

Levi scowls at her in return, tension flooding his body. “And where is that?”

“He doesn’t want anyone to see him like this, Levi.”

“No shit,” Levi spits. “Who would? I don’t care—tell me where he is.”

“Mike is with him,” Hanji replies. That tempers the anger somewhat, and Levi relaxes fractionally. She bites her lip, lost in thought as she assesses Levi’s expression. “I’ll tell you where he is, but if he doesn’t want you there, will you go anyway?”

Levi has to mull that one over for a few seconds. He trusts Erwin blindly with battle strategies, maneuvers, secrets; but not always his own health.

“Yes,” Levi grits out, setting his jaw stubbornly, but makes a concession out of respect for the man who he respects the most. “If he doesn’t want me there, then I’ll keep my distance. But I’m not staying _here_.”

That seems to satisfy Hanji, but her words are less than satisfactory. “We need someone else on watch. If Erwin’s agreeable to it, I’ll put you into the rotation.”

Levi glares at her, unmoved.

“Levi,” she says, her voice prickling with impatience, “Erwin is still the Commander. If he says—”

“I don’t give a fuck what he says,” Levi grunts. “I’ll be there, whether I see him or not. Use me for watch or don’t. It’s your choice. What time are you leaving?” 

Hanji sighs, but she doesn’t argue, clearly knowing it’s pointless. “In a few hours, after dusk.”

“Fine,” he says, giving a terse nod of his head. “I’ll meet you here in three hours,” he says, motioning at the door of the lab.

Before Hanji can say anything else, Levi turns on his heel and stalks out of the lab, slamming the door behind him to make a point.

He’s relatively sure he hears glass shatter, but it barely registers. All he can think about is how bad this really is, and although he understands, he’s angry at Erwin. Erwin, who never puts any weight on Levi’s shoulders that he doesn’t have to, always trying to carry the world alone.

Levi curses to himself, heading off to pack a bag for an indeterminate length of time.

* 

When Hanji meets Levi at her lab, thankfully, she offers no more objections or commentary as they leave the barracks on foot. She’s carrying a box which piques Levi’s curiosity, but he doesn’t ask.

They walk side by side slowly, Levi lost deep in thought. 

He’d known Erwin was an omega years ago through a complex series of events. However, Erwin as a man with omega biology, versus someone presenting as an omega in a full-blown heat, are two very different things. The truth is that Levi never really thought much about Erwin’s biology before now. He hadn’t seemed to want to discuss it, had never asked Levi about his own, so they’d simply left it alone. 

Levi knows why Erwin would want to hide what he is, though. Traditionally, omegas are considered to be weaker, smaller, and more timid, even though such notions are generally fabricated. While the omega body is certainly more prone to intense heats if left unchecked, beyond that, Levi’s never noticed anything different about the ones he knows. Maybe it’s the suppressants, but he suspects the classifications are really just another way for humanity to subjugate “lesser” groups using conveniently built-in biological as parameters.

“This is it,” Hanji says suddenly, startling Levi out his thoughts as she points down the street toward an old house. It’s set back from the road, which also means a lesser chance of anyone noticing if there’s a light in the window.

Moblit turns the corner suddenly, doing a double take at Levi, but a look of relief passes over his face when he sees Hanji.

“How is he?” Hanji asks, falling into stride next to Moblit and allowing Levi to hang back.

They speak in hushed voices, and although Levi could eavesdrop if he wanted to, he doesn’t bother, loitering a few houses away. 

Hanji looks over her shoulder at him, and Levi just gives her a hard stare. He’s trusting her to tell him the truth once she’s been updated, and she nods in return.

Levi sighs and crosses his arms, leaning moodily against a fence. It’s taking every last bit of will power he has not to charge into the house and see for himself exactly what’s happening. But if Erwin isn’t ready, or willing for that matter, who’s Levi to take that away from him?

Levi also knows damn well that if it was him, he wouldn’t want Erwin to see him either. He wouldn’t want _anyone_ to see him, and the thought lessens his irritation. The closest approximation he can conjure up is when he hurt his ankle—an injury from which he’s still recovering—and the endless parade of worrywart medics trying to tend to him.

He’d scared most of them away after a day or so with his surly demeanor alone; Erwin is just more polite about it.

“Hey,” comes a familiar voice, and Levi looks up in surprise to see Mike standing there.

“How is he?” Levi asks without niceties, wanting to hear from someone who won’t be afraid to tell it like it is. Moblit is exceptionally intelligent, but his way with words is shit when he’s nervous.

Mike sighs as heavily, raising two arms to pillow hands behind his head, looking up into the dark sky.

“Shitty.” Mike’s mouth twitches down almost imperceptibly, but Levi notices. “Don’t like seeing him this way.”

Levi raises both eyebrows, a cold feeling of dread settling. If Mike says it’s bad, it’s _bad_.

“He didn’t want to tell me?” Levi asks, his voice quiet but steely.

“It’s not that,” Mike replies thoughtfully. He’s studying Levi closely now, assessing his expression; he even sniffs a bit, and although Levi is on suppressants, he knows Mike’s sense of smell is most the keen out of all the Corps. “It sounds like he never thought about it, but now he has no choice.”

Levi knows what it’s like to not to have a choice, and the thought sobers him.

“He did tell me to tell you what he is,” Mike offers. “He didn’t think you’d judge him.”

That knowledge puts Levi at ease, and he nods in agreement. “Of course not. I don’t care if he’s an omega or a fucking unicorn. This doesn’t change anything.”

Mike grins slightly, obviously approving of this statement, and he gives a short nod. Sometimes, Levi forgets how long Mike has actually known Erwin, how Mike was the one who shoved Levi’s face into a dirty puddle in the Underground city under Erwin’s direction.

But in retrospect, he doesn’t resent it as much, since he’d do the same for Erwin now.

“Good,” is all Mike says as he turns in the other direction. “Hanji’s next on watch, then Moblit.” He looks over his shoulder at Levi. “You’re on tomorrow.”

“Fine.”

“You’re staying?” Mike’s voice is expectant, as if he knows it’s not even a question.

Levi just shoots him a flat look and straightens as he steps out into the street, craning his neck to have a look at the mysterious house of omega horrors.

“Don’t get too close,” Mike advises suddenly. “You’re going to be the only alpha nearby, so stay away from the door until Hanji gives you an update. She’s in there now.”

Levi nods curtly and turns in the opposite direction, and Mike returns the nod as they part ways. “I’ll be back tomorrow,” he says. “In the meantime, I have to alert everyone of Commander Smith’s midnight meeting in the Capital.”

Levi snorts, and is rewarded with a hum as Mike walks away, before turning the corner and disappearing into the night.

Time passes too slowly after that for Levi’s taste, each second seeming longer than the last as he stares intently at the door from across the street, trying to keep his distance. Every time he thinks he’s still a reasonable distance away, though, he realizes that his pacing has drawn him closer to the house, and he has to put more space between him and it.

Really, he has to put more space between him and Erwin, which he hates.

The street is quiet, and the lot across from the small house is an empty, grassy space where a house had obviously once. Many of the outlying suburbs of cities have become this way. After Maria fell, homes were abandoned as famine and misfortune swept the countryside.

Levi seats himself on a worn piece of stone that probably served as steps to a building at one point, but now simply stop where a threshold would have been. The steps are certainly cleaner than sitting in the dirt.

Just as he’s getting comfortable, though, the sound of the door opening startles the quietude as Hanji appears. 

She puts a finger over her mouth in the universal motion for quiet, before making her way over to Levi.

“Stay at this distance,” she advises. “Moblit is talking to Erwin. He’s also an omega, and he’ll understand this predicament better than you or I ever could.”

Levi raises a skeptical eyebrow at that, a motion that Hanji immediately picks up on.

She tugs Levi a little further away, her voice quiet in an attempt not to wake anyone up. It’s a good thing the house is set back from the main road, which is obviously rarely used to begin with.

“What do you know about heats?” Her gaze is intense, and Levi cocks his head to the side, frowning. He wasn’t expecting the question.

“I went through a few,” he offers carefully, shrugging slightly. “It wasn’t fun, but it wasn’t awful.” It definitely had _not_ been fun. Before he could afford suppressants, he’d spent a few of his heat cycles with Farlan, a good-natured, easy-going beta who had enjoyed being on the receiving end of Levi’s attentions. Farlan was always good with things like that.

Hanji purses her lips and shakes her head slowly. “But have you ever seen an _omega_ heat?” she presses.

Levi’s frown deepens as he considers her tone, glancing from her solemn expression to the house and back again. “No,” he admits.

“Omega heats are different,” she explains, obviously ready to tell him everything she knows about omega heats. On this occasion, though, Levi will take any information he can get. 

“How?”

“Have you ever been delirious from blood loss?” She offers, gesticulating as she tries to get her point across. “Or been in so much pain you couldn’t remember your own name?”

“What kind of pain?”

The question seems to surprise Hanji, and she pauses, studying Levi’s expression carefully.

When she doesn’t speak after a moment, though, Levi continues impatiently, “Do you mean emotional pain, or physical pain?”

“Both,” she replies simply, raising an eyebrow.

Just as the severity of the situation is beginning to dawn on him, the door creaks open and Moblit stands there, shutting it behind him and looking a bit shaken.

“Moblit,” Hanji greets him enthusiastically, striding across the street. The two wooden steps up to the front door squeak as she mounts them quickly, obviously eager to get an update.

His voice is soft as he nods and gestures toward the door behind him. They talk quietly for a moment; Levi stays where he is safely across the street.

After a brief exchange, Hanji looks over her shoulder at Levi, then back at Moblit; he nods an affirmative in answer to some question Levi didn’t catch, and then both cross again to face Levi together.

“Moblit, please update Levi on what you just discussed with the Commander,” Hanji requests, all military formality. Levi expects it’s to keep Moblit steady, though to be fair, clearly its been a long day for everyone involved. 

Moblit glances nervously at Levi who just stares back; that earns a hard swallow, and Hanji frowns mildly. It’s a look that says _don’t scare him_ , so Levi tries to relax and render his expression blank.

He knows very well that Moblit’s intimidated by him; most people are, if they don’t know Levi outside his role of Captain, or aren’t part of his squad.

 _Were_ part of his squad, he mentally corrects himself. 

The answer to Hanji’s question about pain was yes.

“I delivered the supplies…” Moblit starts slowly, glancing at Hanji.

She steps in to explain, much to Moblit’s obvious relief. “The box I brought from the barracks contained food, linens, and a variety of implements for sexual stimulation.” Her voice is completely serious and uninflected; on the other hand, the color that rises in Moblit’s cheeks is pronounced. To his credit, though, he doesn’t acknowledge it. 

“What was his response to my offer of assistance?” Hanji asks, her voice solemn.

“He’d rather not,” Moblit answers, looking relieved to change the subject even as Levi’s gaze rivets over to Hanji in disbelief. “He’d rather not with anyone.”

“Of course,” Hanji nods. “I don’t know if I’d be of much use anyway.”

“That’s what I told him,” Moblit confirms. “Especially since he’s unmated, but he seemed to know that before I even explained.”

Hanji looks troubled as she frowns, glancing back and forth between the house and their small group.

“Besides Mike, the only other alpha is Levi,” she remarks thoughtfully after a moment, turning her eyes to look at him. Levi opens his mouth incredulously, his eyes wide as he prepares to denounce the notion, but Moblit interrupts.

“The Commander already consented,” he says simply, and Levi’s mouth snaps shut, his head spinning, “but only in extreme circumstances.”

Hanji gives a satisfied nod, but Levi is still staring at her as if she’s lost her mind. “I’m…” he stammers, not expecting the situation to go this way. “I…”

“Are you not willing?” Moblit asks, looking apologetic. “I should have mentioned—he said only if it’s agreeable to you.”

“Of course I’m willing,” Levi snaps, his temper getting the best of him as he scowls at Moblit. “But…”

“Levi,” Hanji interrupts sternly, “what I said before about an omega heat. Often, there’s no choice after a certain point.”

Moblit nods in confirmation at this which helps to slow Levi’s racing thoughts; no wonder Erwin doesn’t want anyone near him.

“He’s going to try and think his way out of this,” she predicts, her voice sober. And Levi knows damn well that she’s right.

“He knows that it’s impossible,” Moblit offers feebly, but winces. “But I think he intends to try anyway.”

“Of course he does,” Levi grunts, glaring at the house as if Erwin can hear him. “He’s trying to rid the world of _Titans_. You really think he’ll succumb to a heat willingly?”

“It’s not if he will,” Hanji replies diplomatically. “It’s when.”

That gives each of them pause, and Levi cringes before sighing heavily. He resigns himself to what’s going to happen over the next week; there’s no denying that he might be needed, and it won’t be pleasant for Erwin.

“What did he say exactly?” Levi asks, staring at Moblit with a quiet intensity.

Moblit swallows hard again, but his voice is resolute. “He doesn’t want anyone to go in the house until the heat is over, and he’d prefer to endure it alone unless absolutely necessary.”

Levi looks at Hanji in consternation, not liking the vague description. “What does that mean?”

But Hanji doesn’t seem to think it’s vague as she immediately lays out parameters. “You’ll know because you’ll smell it,” she starts, adjusting her glasses pensively. “But you’ll smell him the entire time, and every cell in your body will be screaming for you to go to him, especially since you’re an alpha.”

Levi abstains from stating that smell and biology have nothing to do with the fact that he already feels this way, but allows Hanji to continue uninterrupted.

“The difference between the smell of desperation, versus the need of actual assistance, is a judgment call you’ll need to make,” she says. “The worst you can do is go inside and find him using one of the implements.” Moblit clears his throat awkwardly.

“So, how do I know when this ‘need of assistance’ kicks in?” Levi demands, not liking the idea of interloping on Erwin’s privacy if he doesn’t have to. He’d move the world to ensure that protection for Erwin is sufficient, but Levi has never violated Erwin’s trust willingly, and he doesn’t intend to start now. _Especially_ not now.

“Because he’ll be feverish and in horrific pain,” Hanji replies, looking grim. “Most likely delirious, and he won’t know where he is or his own name. His body will be screaming to be knotted by an alpha and cramped, and he’ll know nothing else. He might not even know who you are—he’ll just smell you blindly. If you find him that way, that’s when you need to do what you can. Use the implements, provide skin to skin contact, ask him questions. Do what ever you can to quell the hysteria before actually knotting him, because that’s a last resort.

“There are also syringes and sedatives in the box, but they’re only to be used when his body won’t calm down long enough to allow sleep, and he’s suffering from exhaustion. They won’t help with the heat, and will actually make his mental state worse if he’s left alone.” She raises a brow, facing Levi with a deadly serious expression. “If you end up having to assist him—even if it’s only touch with no sexual component—you’ll need to be here for the duration of the heat. Leaving him will make it exponentially worse once he’s latched onto your scent.”

There’s a long silence as Levi lets the instructions sink in, mulling them over in his head. He packed enough clothes to last for that long, since he hadn’t known what to expect, and suddenly he jerks his head up to look at Moblit.

“He agreed to this?” he demands, something turning over in his chest at the notion there could be any misunderstanding.

But Moblit’s answer is firm. “Yes. He consented to it when he was still in his right mind, but only if it was agreeable to you.” He pauses momentarily, but the continues. “I suggested it.”

That earns a surprised glance from Hanji, but Moblit just shrugs; the truth is, it’s a logical choice. Levi assumes that Mike already offered and Erwin said no. Obviously Hanji wasn’t his first choice either, not to mention it wasn’t guaranteed she’d even be able to help once Erwin reached the point of no return.

“Fine,” he replies curtly with a sharp nod, turning to face Hanji. “You stay over there if you insist on taking your turn on watch, shit-glasses,” he orders, pointing at the front of the house. The familiar nickname earns a wan smile from her, and Levi sets his jaw as he sits back down on his own steps. “I’m taking next watch, and the one after that.”

Hanji looks like she wants to argue as she opens her mouth, but then shuts it, obviously deciding it’s a losing battle.

“Moblit,” she says, her eyes still fixed on Levi, “I’ll be back early tomorrow morning. Tell Mike what’s going on and then get some sleep.”

Moblit gives a firm nod, turning to Levi to salute stiffly before jogging off in the direction of the barracks.

“Why is he saluting?” Levi grumbles, feeling prickly.

“Because you’re his Captain,” Hanji answers levelly, though there’s an eye-roll in there somewhere at Levi’s impatience. “And he’s nervous.”

She stretches her arms over her head with a yawn, and then drops them with a grave look. “Erwin is totally defenseless, Levi,” she says, her tone candid. “He needs you, and I don’t mean for sex.”

“I get it,” he murmurs, staring at the ground and idly nudging the toe of his boot at the grass poking up around the steps. 

“Good,” she says with a resolute nod. “Try to get some sleep if you insist on staying out here.”

They settle in for the night, and Levi actually tries to follow her advice, doubled over his own knees and dozing; but he can’t seem to fall into any state of deep sleep without jerking awake to look at the door.

At one point, he’s roused sharply to a keen awareness of something that could have been a noise, but he’s not sure once he’s sitting straight up and alert, looking around. 

Hanji is sitting on the steps that lead into the house, her brow furrowed slightly, trying to read a book by candlelight. She looks up at Levi in surprise as he stares across the road at her with wide eyes.

“What the hell was that?” he hisses.

“What?” she asks, cocking her head to the side in surprise. She looks up and down the street apprehensively, but obviously seeing nothing, she frowns. “Did you hear something?”

He looks around, too, confused since he can’t remember what had jerked him awake so violently.

Suddenly, a knowing look crosses Hanji’s face, and she relaxes. “Heat spike,” she explains simply. “You probably caught some of Erwin’s scent, even through the door. Omega heats are extremely powerful.”

The words spin in Levi’s head; there’s nothing he likes about the description, like Erwin’s some kind of animal held captive in a pen. But Hanji’s words are nothing short of scientific and objective, no titillating or teasing edge to them; of all the people to see Erwin in this position, Levi figures it could be a lot worse than Hanji.

“You’ve given him suppressants the entire time?” Levi suddenly asks, his voice slightly louder but still hushed.

Hanji nods. “For a long time. I’ve known Erwin was an omega since before Shadis retired.” She shrugs a little. “He takes stronger ones than anyone else, and more frequently. How do you think no one’s ever figured it out?”

It’s common knowledge that Hanji was the force behind the development of more powerful heat suppressants administered exclusively to soldiers, but Levi realizes now that it’s all due to her that Erwin’s omega biology hadn’t become common knowledge years ago.

For a reason he can’t explain, Levi nods and says, “Thank you.”

She shoots him a strange look, but then shrugs minutely before going back to her book. “Erwin’s an excellent and responsive omega test subject,” she remarks, turning the page and squinting as she adjusts her glasses in the flickering candlelight.

Levi rolls his eyes at that, though somehow, he suspects Erwin probably wouldn’t take offense.

*

As planned, Hanji leaves early in the morning, circles under her eyes with the book tucked under her arm, but she seems in good spirits.

“Nothing terrible happened the first night,” she remarks with a nod. “Maybe this won’t be as bad as I thought.” When she takes in Levi’s hopeful expression, though, she shrugs. “Or it could be much worse. No way to tell.” Her voice is light and speculative, but Levi knows she’s trying not to lapse into worry, maybe even for his benefit. “Do you need someone to bring you food?”

“No,” he replies, reaching into his bag to settle his hand on the rations he brought. “Unless…” He frowns, since he realizes he doesn’t actually know whether he’ll be back at the barracks in twelve hours or sequestered in an unfamiliar house with his feverish Commander.

“We’ll deal with that later,” she says simply before the conversation can lapse into anxious conjecture, gesturing toward the steps where she’d been sitting. 

Levi sits down uneasily in the place where Hanji had been perched; he doesn’t like not knowing what to expect. Erwin’s always the one with the plan and grand vision, always gambling with a trick up his sleeve. Sometimes, that Hail Mary has even been Levi himself and his lethal blades.

Levi considers his talents to be killing things and staying alive, not strategy or finesse. However, somewhere along the line, keeping Erwin breathing became just as important.

He sighs quietly, settling in for the long haul, glancing over at the window that’s cracked open slightly. 

“Won’t he smell me?” he asks Hanji, raising a brow. “Will it drive him insane?”

Hanji looks back and forth between Levi and the window, squinting slightly as morning slowly starts to illuminate the street. “He will smell you, and he’ll know you’re here. But if your scent drives him so insane that he can no longer function, then you’d be going in after him anyway.”

Levi nods, crossing his arms and leaning back against the door.

“I haven’t seen a single person pass,” Hanji remarks as she looks up and down the street. “Even yesterday. I think most of these houses were left behind a while ago. There may be the occasional passerby, but they won’t question you if they see your gear.” She gestures toward the house. “This was Mike’s sister’s house.”

“Is she dead?” Levi asks bluntly, baffled as to why Mike Zacharias’s sister would leave her house behind given her brother is humanity’s second strongest soldier.

Hanji screws up her face and shakes her head. “Stop being morbid. She got married and moved to Karanese with her husband.”

Levi shrugs indifferently. “Fancy.”

Hanji snorts, and then just stands there for a moment, looking at Levi. 

He frowns at her. “What are you staring at?”

“Are you okay with this?” she asks, mouth tense. 

He knows Hanji’s being serious now, the way she is when things really matter. This is the Hanji that Erwin trusts to administer the suppressants that keep his very biology a secret from every person within the Walls. 

Erwin is a painfully private person in many ways, and laying him bare in a moment of raw, unconscious vulnerability is no small thing; but he’s also not a fool, and if he consented to Levi’s assistance, there’s a reason.

Erwin’s reasoning, whether explained or not, has always been enough; Levi wants to do this for him.

He makes a dismissive _tch_ sound in return, unimpressed. “Yeah. Now go away.”

Hanji nods, seemingly satisfied, if not amused, by this response, before turning on her heel to start down the street; then, Levi is alone.

The morning unfurls in a slow creep of light. Birds chirp, clouds roll by, and he even spots an earthworm moving in the dirt next to the steps. Everything is uneventful, despite the madness currently happening inside the house behind him.

Idly, he slides the knife out he keeps strapped to his leg inside his boot and examines it critically. It glints in the sunlight, but the edge is somewhat dull, so he decides to sharpen it. Conveniently, there are a few rocks in the dirt next to him, including a nice flat one that’s perfect for the task. The _shick, shick_ sound of the metal steadies him, and he continues until the cutting edge is sharp enough to slice through a blade of grass.

Hours pass, and he looks up to count the clouds, wondering what Erwin is doing and if he’s comfortable.

It’s sometime in the early afternoon, just as Levi is considering spit-shining his boots, that the calm shatters.

The entire world feels like it folds in, and Levi’s eyes slam shut, a bright spark behind his eyelids before he forces them open; the sun is scalding and the entire world seems to shimmer with heat, painfully bright. His breath catches and his eyes bulge, and he feels like he’s drowning, dragged down by an immense force he can’t escape. He can’t breathe, can’t move, can’t even whine; however, much to his mortification, his cock is very much awake despite his immobility.

Through the haze, he realizes Erwin has probably caught his scent for the first time. 

He gets ahold of himself quickly, though, self-control shoving back violently against the heat wracking his body, tamping down the primal urge to rip open the door and knot the omega on the other side. But he doesn’t, holding his breath momentarily to quell the alpha instinct racing through every inch of him.

When he lets out the breath and inhales tentatively, though, he wishes he hadn’t; the scent from the confines of the house has grown into a veritable stench, a howling lonely pain that cuts him to the bone and makes him want to weep for the fact that he can’t go to it.

He calms himself by picturing Erwin as Levi knows him—the occasional smile when Levi brings him tea at a late hour, blue eyes keen but often tired, pen constantly scratching as Levi hovers on a nearby chair.

And after a moment, underneath that ghostly wail of need, he finally finds a different scent: just Erwin, free of any traitorous biology. Without the suppressants, Levi can smell him properly for the first time—he smells like fresh ink, trees, the air outside the Walls. Levi could breathe in that scent for the rest of his life and never grow tired of it; it’s like inhaling freedom, his entire body filled with it.

He takes a deep breath, eyes falling shut; but then he’s jarred out of his thoughts as a door slams in the back of the house. He suspects Erwin’s fled, self-control fraying at this stage, desperate to get as far away as possible from any other person, much less an alpha.

Levi resumes his position with a grunt, adjusting his pants and gear and scowling up into the sun, pretending he didn’t just almost orgasm while smelling his Commander through a wall.

He knows it doesn’t matter if he needs to “assist” Erwin and ends up becoming bound to him; he’s staying the week, regardless of whether it’s outside or inside the house.

He sets his jaw and buckles down for the afternoon, stubbornly retaking his place, and goes back to counting clouds.

*

Screams aren’t shocking in the Survey Corps. They happen on every expedition, every time some new horror unleashes itself on humanity; whether it’s soldiers being eaten alive or civilians getting trampled by rampaging rogue shifters, screams are common to Levi’s ears at this point.

Erwin’s screams, however, are not.

Levi jolts awake, looking around wildly, taking in the dark street and trying to place the time.

Mike had stopped by earlier to bring him food, then stuck around for a bit. It was technically his turn on watch, but he’d given up when Levi had remained stubbornly in place. However, his presence had allowed Levi to get some proper rest, even if it was in the form of dozing off while leaning against the front door of the house. Nonetheless, it was also the first time Levi had been able to fall fully asleep in close to twenty-four hours.

He’d allowed himself to nod off again since not a single thing had stirred after dusk, and he’d always been a light sleeper.

For a moment, he wonders if he dreamed the wail of agony; it wouldn’t be the first time he’d had nightmares about Erwin being consumed by screams and Titans.

But then, there’s another, and his adrenaline surges. He doesn’t know whether he should go inside or not, but his instincts are crying that he should. He’s just not sure whether it’s the alpha in him, stupidly wanting him to go toward a needy omega, or his naturally ingrained human instincts that have saved his ass more than a few times.

The next time Erwin wails, though, more of a miserable animalistic keening, Levi’s hand flies to the doorknob as he grapples with his decision.

He listens carefully to the muddled sounds of agony, undulating between wails and whimpers, though loud enough to make it through the door; but then, he hears something distinctly different.

 _“Levi…”_ His name sounds pained and tear-soaked, if Levi had to describe it, and he can’t stop himself anymore.

He shoves the door open and practically stumbles in, eyes searching wildly in the dark to take in the layout of the house.

Erwin shouts his name again, broken and needy. _“Levi.”_

When he throws open the door to the bedroom, he has to stop for a moment to process the scene in front of him.

It’s been several days since he last saw Erwin. It was in his office the day after he’d spent way too much time in it, and Levi had brought him tea. The fundraising proposal he’d been working on was done, and he was tired, but pleased.

He’d run a hand through his hair which was still mostly in place, always calm and collected, and smiled as he sipped his peppermint tea. “Thank you, Levi.” His voice had been warm and grateful, and he’d even loosened his bolo tie, pulling the turquoise stone away from his throat in a rare gesture of true ease.

But this Erwin is different—he’s naked for one thing, lying on his side and contorted with one hand over his face, the other reaching out toward the door. His hips are canting and he’s shuddering, shivering, obviously in great pain.

“Erwin?” he asks uncertainly. As soon as Erwin hears his voice, he becomes desperate, arm extending off the bed and clawing at the air, panting raggedly.

Levi draws a little closer, hesitant and cautious. He doesn’t like the scent Erwin’s giving off now; it doesn’t suit him and it’s confusing, desperate, painful. 

It also hits Levi that he officially won’t be returning to the barracks anytime soon. 

“Erwin, can you hear me?” Levi feels a bit silly asking, since it’s obvious Erwin most certainly cannot hear him, but he tries anyway. He wants to be sure.

He sits down gingerly on the edge of the bed, and Erwin strikes fast, grabbing his leg and trying to curl around him.

“Shit,” Levi hisses, pulling away without thinking. It’s shocking, and his body fights in the opposite direction, pushing him desperately: _go to the omega, he wants you, he needs you, knot him, take care of him, protect him…_

The sound Erwin lets out could only be described as a gurgle of sorrow as Levi pulls away, but he quickly rectifies his incorrect reaction, reaching out to touch Erwin’s forehead with the back of his hand. 

He’s hot and feverish, obviously delirious.

This is it—what Hanji described.

“Okay,” Levi murmurs, standing as Erwin lets out a truly desperate sound. “Hold on…”

“I can’t,” Erwin whimpers, as if he’s heard; but Levi has no idea if he’s stuck in some nightmarish fever or actually answering. 

He walks briskly into the kitchen, hurriedly wetting a clean towel he finds hanging over a hook with cold water from the hand pump. 

When he returns to the bedroom, Erwin’s rocking back and forth, totally beside himself with delirium. 

Levi sits down on the of the bed again to press the cold cloth against Erwin’s forehead, pushing his hands away gently as he fumbles to pull Levi closer.

“I’ve got you,” Levi murmurs, smoothing the wet fabric against Erwin’s temples and cheeks. “I’m here.”

“Levi…” Erwin mutters weakly, but his eyes are still closed and he’s confused.

Levi presses his forehead against Erwin’s, letting their breath mingle for a moment, and it immediately calms him down; his breathing finally slows somewhat, and Levi remembers Hanji’s advice about skin to skin contact.

He lifts his hand to place it against Erwin’s hip, stroking with gentle fingers.

“Will it help if I use the glass thing?” He doesn’t know if there’s even any point in asking, but he does anyway.

As expected, Erwin replies with something garbled that doesn’t make sense, and then tries to curl himself around Levi again; it’s almost absurd, given their size difference, but Levi allows Erwin to become as small as he can. He has a feeling the gesture is about more than just touch. 

“Please…” Erwin murmurs, his voice ragged and pained. “I need…”

Levi knows exactly what he needs, and so he doesn’t delay any longer. He guides Erwin onto his side so that he’s facing the wall and grabs the toy that happens to be on the bedside table, obviously recently used, but clean. 

Pushing it into Erwin is easier than he first thought, and it doesn’t even seem sexual in some way. It’s just Erwin begging, hitching his leg up and chanting a litany of _yes yes yes_ confirming some blessed form of relief. Levi speeds up his strokes, unsure of what to expect under these circumstances, but Erwin seems to approve as his back arches.

Erwin reaches down, obviously stroking himself and probably out of sheer instinct at this point, and he cries out as he comes immediately.

Levi slows the motions of his hand where he’s been pumping the glass cock in and out—thankful for the fact that lubrication isn’t an issue—but when he moves to pull it out, Erwin tenses abruptly. 

“No,” he groans weakly, “not yet…”

Levi stops short, realizing that this is about as close to knotting it’s going to get without actually knotting.  
“Okay,” he murmurs, using his other hand to rub his fingers against Erwin’s shoulder, “relax.” He lets it linger there inside, holding onto the toy as Erwin slowly relaxes.

Finally, he quiets enough for Levi to slide it out, and then goes limp. At this point, Levi’s not sure whether Erwin’s asleep or even lucid, but when he lies down behind him and wraps an arm around his waist, Erwin manages to fall off into an uneasy sleep.

The peaceful interlude lasts for exactly half an hour, though, before he’s up again and begging for the same treatment; Levi gives it, slow and in control, arranging his limbs so he can press his nose against Erwin’s scent gland gently while fucking him with the toy. It makes Erwin shiver, but also seems to calm him, the burning need for an alpha most likely softened with Levi so close by. 

Levi is positive that he’s radiating protective pheromones, and finally after a few hours, Erwin falls asleep without waking up again.

*

When he greets Erwin with a _good morning_ and receives a blank stare in return, for a dreadful moment, he thinks the heat haze hasn’t abated at all.

He’s already reaching for the glass dildo until Erwin manages to spit out, “I’m sorry.”

Levi exhales heavily, the tension seeping out of him as he turns over to face Erwin with a nonplussed look, ignoring the fact that Erwin has immediately pushed away from him with the sheets pulled up in a display of modesty that now seem surreal after the events of the previous night.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Levi replies with a slight roll of his eyes. He sits up to stretch, his back tense from sleeping in an odd position next to Erwin, his arm slightly sore where he’d spent half the night using it to pump a glass toy. “I knew what I was facing. I volunteered.”

He doesn’t look at Erwin, wanting the words to sound natural and not embarrass him. There’s no reason for Erwin to be embarrassed in the first place.

 _He needs you,_ Hanji’s voice echoes in his head.

He can feel Erwin staring at his back, and he glances over his shoulder, suddenly feeling uneasy. “Moblit said you consented to it, if you needed…” Their eyes meet, but Erwin doesn’t look away. “…an alpha,” Levi finishes weakly. 

“I did,” Erwin confirms with a nod. His eyes slip shut as fatigue shadows his face, though, and he sinks under the sheets.

Levi frowns mildly, surreptitiously taking an inventory of Erwin’s physical state. It’s not surprising he’s tired, regardless of the fact that he’d finally been able to sleep, and Levi knows he must be sore now that he’s in his right mind.

He also knows Erwin would never admit it.

Suddenly, Levi’s hit with a wave of something new the scent blossoming like a poisonous flower loosing its seeds to the wind, and he inhales sharply in surprise. Two blue eyes dart to him immediately, and at first, he thinks Erwin is embarrassed at his own lack of control over the pheromones he’s emitting, until Levi realizes that his legs are hanging over the side of the bed and he’s no longer touching Erwin.

It’s fear and panic—the omega response to the alpha leaving that Hanji had also described—but of course, Erwin tries to hide it. He sets his jaw and clenches his fist, forcing himself to look away, but Levi’s not having it.

“You don’t have to fight,” he says, keeping his voice quiet as he retakes his place on the bed, rolling onto his side to look Erwin in the eye. He doesn’t move forward, though, giving Erwin space to deliberate in. 

After a moment, the words come soft and halting, but they’re there. “Don’t leave.”

“I’m not going to leave,” he retorts. “I’ll be with you until this is over.” He reaches out to rest his hand against Erwin’s hip, heartened when there’s no flinch or move to retreat.

“You can smell it, can’t you?”

Levi can feel the shame hovering there, and he gives Erwin the courtesy of honesty. “Yeah.”

“Mike said it smelled like a wounded animal crying for help,” Erwin says, shaking his head, his eyes troubled.

“That’s accurate,” Levi agrees, not bothering to sugarcoat the truth. “But you’re not a wounded animal,” he says, looking up intently. “You’re just caught in a shitty situation.”

Levi frowns disapprovingly as Erwin looks down, a flicker of self-recrimination skimming the surface that Levi knows is lurking there.

“It’s my fault,” he says, as if confessing a terrible secret. “I forgot to take my suppressants last week.”

Levi thinks back—the night he brought Erwin tea, the last time Levi had seen him in his right mind, exhausted after preparing an expedition proposal and not sleeping for two days—and he keeps his voice level.

“You mean when you didn’t leave your office for two days?”

“Yes.” Erwin’s tone is neutral, and he doesn’t say anything else.

Levi studies him for a moment, remembering very clearly now what Erwin looks like in the ordinary light of day, blue eyes often guarded and unreadable.

But somehow, it also reminds him of the first time he was made fully aware of exactly how far his loyalty to Erwin extended. It wasn’t simply following him in formation or doing his bidding, trusting him to make decisions and give orders. It wasn’t even the occasional more personal tasks, like staying with him in his office, a habit that became increasingly common over the years.

The realization that something had shifted beyond simple comradeship happened a few months after the second expedition—about a year after Levi had joined the Survey Corps. It was the day Hanji passed him in the hallway, an ordinary afternoon, and simply said, “Make sure he sleeps tonight,” and kept walking.

Levi had spun on his heel, ready to spit at her over what he thought was a playful jab, but then realized she hadn’t turned around at all and just kept walking. It was an absentminded remark in passing, as if par for the course.

And just like that, Levi realized what he’d become. Erwin had never sought out a guard dog, but nonetheless, he’d acquired one. Although it was somewhat embarrassing to have it be so obvious, Levi had accepted the situation for what it was, and didn’t think about it again.

His voice is even and he doesn’t reveal his thoughts when he finally replies, “If I’d known you had to take them every week, I would’ve reminded you.”

Erwin just stares at him, and there’s a silence; but Levi waits stubbornly, refusing to break it.

Erwin cracks first. “No one knew what I was until this week,” he sighs. “Only Hanji, since she gives me the suppressants.”

Levi debates telling the truth—that he knew exactly what Erwin was from that first moment he realized he would never leave—and there doesn’t seem to be much sense in denying it.

“I already knew.”

It’s hard to surprise Erwin, but Levi knows he’s succeeded when two blond eyebrows raise sharply and his eyes widen.

“What?”

However, before Erwin can continue that line of questioning, his mouth snaps shut and he swallows hard, an unhappy noise catching in his throat. Levi knows exactly what’s transpiring when his jaw tightens, and he’s not shy.

“Heat?”

The nod Erwin gives is sharp and accompanied by a scowl, and Levi doesn’t hesitate. He gets close and lets Erwin curl around him without comment, simply lying there for a few beats of silence, and then sits up to let Erwin’s head lie in his lap. It’s a soothing position, and although he’s sure Erwin still wants to go it alone, he seems to have finally accepted Levi’s help without apology.

Levi debates what to do next. He knows Erwin needs relief, but given how many times he’d been fucked with the glass toy the night before, other measures may be necessary.

“Are you too sore?” he asks haltingly, chasing a few strands of hair away from Erwin’s face, not shy about the tender gesture. It’s warranted.

Erwin clears his throat, but his voice is nothing short of diplomatic when he replies, “Use your fingers.” 

Levi nods, pretending not to hear the whisper of _please_ that slips out as he guides Erwin to turn over onto his stomach and nudges his legs apart. He pushes his index finger down and between Erwin’s buttocks to gently press in, testing the response.

There’s a stutter in Erwin’s breath, and Levi is heartened when he feels a gentle ebb of pleasure, legs spreading incrementally as he slips his finger inside. It goes easily, and there’s none of the friction or adjusting that normal sex requires—a saving grace of the omega body is that lubrication is built in and one less thing to worry about. 

Erwin moans softly, pressing his hips down to rut against the mattress as Levi presses another finger in; that earns a swift, desperate nod of Erwin’s head and a gasp, hips pushing backward.

By the time he’s fucking Erwin with three fingers, Erwin is beside himself, all inhibitions abandoned as he groans and desperately moves his hips.

“Good,” Levi murmurs, pushing his fingers in and out, giving Erwin the pressure he’s desperately seeking, talking to reinforce his presence. “Feel my fingers? You’re going to come for me.”

This seems to drive Erwin over the edge, and he orgasms hard, letting out a strangled cry as his entire body stiffens; then, his shoulders go limp and he collapses facedown onto the mattress, heaving breath.

Levi pulls his fingers out slowly, knowing how raw Erwin must be feeling, and then smooths a hand absently over the small of his back. The pheromones are relaxed and pleasant now, a relief to sense as Levi draws away.

“I’ll be right back,” he finally says, watching closely for discomfort. Erwin’s expression is nervous, but he seems to be faring all right, and offers a short nod.

Levi gets up quickly, not wanting to leave him alone for too long, but needing to retrieve some supplies to at least clean up a bit. 

He doesn’t think as he lets the door swing partially shut behind him—the logical thing to do when a person is lying naked in bed, covered in come and sweat—but he gets a jolt of terror that roots him to the spot, starts down somewhere around his knees and shoots painfully up his spine.

“Shit,” he hisses, clutching at his chest. It’s like a pain that’s there, yet not, but the moment he turns around and walks back through the door, he knows it’s merely a residue of Erwin’s pain, which makes it incomprehensible.

“You’re panicking,” he says, shaking his head in frustration at Erwin’s attempts to fight his own needs. “Don’t push yourself.” He crosses the room in broad strides, sitting down on the bed and not hesitating to place his hand on Erwin’s bare shoulder now.

He gives a heavy sigh, studying Erwin’s face which is schooled into a neutral expression, but his eyes are alight with anxiety; Levi shakes his head.

“I’m here to help you.” He taps Erwin’s shoulder, wracking his brain for any other thing he could possibly say to make Erwin see it through his eyes, that there’s no shame when it’s only them. “Did you look down on me when I hurt my ankle?” he asks suddenly, a challenge in his voice.

That earns a cock of Erwin’s head and a raised eyebrow. “Of course not.” Levi’s slightly amused as he sees Erwin’s gaze dart down to look at his ankle, as if he’s the one who should be worried about a healing injury and not the fact that he’s in the middle of a disabling heat.

“That injury was my fault,” Levi says, completely serious. “I made a mistake and landed wrong, and I fucked up my own leg.” He shrugs slightly. 

“It _wasn’t_ your fault,” Erwin insists, a crease between his eyebrows, clearly disapproving. “It was a bad landing under extreme duress. You’re the strongest—”

Levi waves his hand, interrupting Erwin’s tirade in mid-sentence, shaking his head. “My point,” he continues curtly, “is that this isn’t your fault.”

He takes a moment to consider the situation, how he’d feel if he were in Erwin’s position, unable to even bear someone to leave a room without having a breakdown. 

“I hated having people bring me food and clucking like a bunch of worried hens,” he spits, just the mere memory inspiring irritation. The medics in the barracks had acted as if the sky was falling when the fabled Captain Levi Ackerman had shown up with a badly sprained ankle, barely able to pull of his boot because it’d swollen so much by the time he’d reached the barracks.

He appreciates Erwin’s ire a little bit more upon this recollection, but nonetheless, the reality is that people aren’t immortal; not even Erwin.

This little speech seems to ease a tension in Erwin’s face that Levi hadn’t even noticed before, and finally, he sighs softly. 

Levi allows his instincts to take over and leans forward to press his forehead against Erwin’s lightly, then draw away; he’s not even sure at this point if it’s the alpha in him providing comfort or if it’s just the sheer surreal intimacy of the situation. He doesn’t care after the fact, though, because it seems to soothe Erwin.

To Levi’s relief, there’s a sigh, and Erwin gives in. “Alright. Just… can you leave the door open?”

He nods and then is up quickly, leaving the door ajar. He hurries out to the kitchen to heat some water and wash his hands, grab a few supplies out of his bag, and then grumble at the heavy iron kettle to hurry the fuck up since he doesn’t have all day.

When he returns to the bedroom, he’s relieved to see Erwin still lying on the bed. His eyes are fixed intently on the doorway, clearly waiting for Levi to return, but there’s no terror or panic in the air this time.

He sets the tea down on the bedside table along with the basin of hot water, offering Erwin a few clean handkerchiefs retrieved from his bag to clean himself off.

Erwin looks grateful as he takes one and wipes at his stomach, nose wrinkling slightly in distaste, but sighs in relief after leaning over to submerge one of them in hot water and wipe his skin. He looks even more blissful when he reaches for the teacup, delicate swirls of steam coming off the top of it, and takes a sip. His eyes slip shut, and he inhales deeply, his scent emanating satisfaction that makes Levi feel totally at ease.

“You brought tea with you?” he finally asks, lifting his eyes to let a faint smile tug at his lips, the first Levi’s seen.

“Of course,” Levi replies in kind, raising an eyebrow at him as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

For a few blissful moments of silence, they drink their tea, until something occurs to Levi. “When was the last time you ate?” he asks, glancing down at Erwin’s body.

He just shrugs subtly, as if it doesn’t matter. “I think the first day,” he replies, taking another sip of tea. “I had some rations.

Levi just stares at him, and then frowns mightily. He gets up quickly to inspect the box since Erwin is distracted by tea, currently calm and in his right mind, and roots around in it. At the bottom, he finds a plentiful supply of rations that, while sufficient for a week at providing nutrition, are not the same as actual food. Then again, it’s not as if Erwin was planning on cooking in between fucking himself on glass dildos.

Levi retrieves a few packages, not looking too closely at the labels since rations often taste the same, and returns to the bedroom. He notes the way Erwin glances with interest at the food, his eyes falling on the ration packets.

“Who gave you this shit?” Levi demands, holding out the rations and offering them to Erwin. “Eat,” he commands as an afterthought.

There’s no argument from Erwin as he tears open the packages, ravenous now that food has been offered and tears into the first item without even looking at it.

Levi takes a glass and water pitcher from the bedside table he’d placed there the night before. He pours a large glass of water and sets it on the bedside table, waiting for Erwin to swallow his last bite before saying bluntly, “Drink it.”

There’s no argument, though, as Erwin guzzles the water as if he’s been lost in the wilderness for days.

Levi watches without speaking as his throat works to down the liquid, and then finishes the food, chewing briskly.

“Wasn’t anyone watching you?” Levi mutters to himself irritably as Erwin places the empty ration packages and glass on the table.

“No one has come in,” Erwin replies with a slight shrug. “I didn’t want them to.” 

Levi’s urge to say ‘no shit’ is strong, but holds back, letting Erwin speak; he gets a searching stare, and Levi just returns the stare over the rim of his cup.

Without thinking, he reaches out to touch Erwin’s waist, a natural motion now, and Erwin barely notices.

“Why _did_ you come in?” he asks suddenly, and Levi’s eyes widen, teacup hovering in mid-air halfway to his mouth.

Erwin reads the reaction immediately, and clarifies, “I’m glad you did.” There’s a slight cough, and he looks down. “I needed it.”

Levi takes a sip of his tea thoughtfully, pondering how to answer Erwin’s inquiry. It’s obviously not a question asked out of uneasiness, but sounds more like genuine curiosity, so he decides to be blunt.

“I could smell you,” he offers with a slight shrug, setting his tea down on the bedside table gingerly. He clears his own throat awkwardly now, averting his eyes toward his cup. “And I heard you screaming.”

Erwin stiffens slightly, but he doesn’t pull away. “And?” 

Levi cocks his head to the side in question, unsure of what Erwin’s asking. “And what?”

“What were you going to say?” he asks, raising an eyebrow contrarily. Erwin never misses a beat.

Levi sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You were screaming my name,” he replies, shrugging slightly but not looking at Erwin.

There’s a short silence, and when he finally hazards a glance up, he realizes Erwin has a tinge of embarrassed color in his face. 

“Not that way,” Levi immediately corrects the assumption. He tries not to frown as he recalls the wail of Erwin’s voice, the screaming, unsure how to describe it for a moment until recalling his worst nightmares. “Like you were in a Titan’s mouth.”

Erwin’s expression is nothing short of mortified, but he doesn’t have a chance to reply as his hand starts to shake, spilling tea on the sheets.

Levi wraps both of his hands around Erwin’s, steadying the tremor before taking the cup and putting it on the beside table. Without further discussion, he guides Erwin down to the bed.

“How do you want it?” No point in being precious about it.

Erwin’s eyes close and he inhales; Levi senses the comfort he gets from the scent, and he rubs his thumb absently over Erwin’s hip. 

“Fingers,” he says, but his tone is resolute and unembarrassed.

Levi hazards a soft kiss against Erwin’s collarbones as he sinks down to slide his hand between Erwin’s legs, clever fingers seeking out what Erwin wants.

He revels in the pleasure he feels wafting off Erwin when he orgasms, breathing hard, Levi’s free hand pulling him close.

They’ll survive this.

*

The next four days set them into a rhythm.

Erwin gets as much sleep as he can, Levi at his side the entire time, until waking up in the throes of a heat spike. Levi fucks him however he needs it, sometimes they talk a bit, and then he falls back asleep.

The sheets are sweaty and disgusting, and the only reprieve is the very occasional moments when Levi can leave to boil water and retrieve fresh linens, which isn’t often. Erwin barely notices, though, totally fixated on Levi’s presence when he’s lucid and awake.

Levi can see how tired he is and it wracks him with worry. He spends his waking hours stroking Erwin’s shoulders to try and keep him asleep; sometimes, it works, and sometimes Erwin wakes up whimpering.

The morning of the fourth day, Erwin had barely slept the night through, and he’s exhausted, grinding his hips against the mattress almost against his will. His head is turned to the side as Levi runs a hand up and down his back.

He’s in a sorry state, practically asleep at this point even as his body pushes forward, and Levi thinks back on Hanji’s words about the sedatives.

Levi doesn’t know where his words come from, and its an almost out of body experience as he speaks. 

“I’m going to use my tongue, and then a sedative so you can rest for a bit.”

For a moment, he’s not sure what he just said, but then suddenly a strong urge grips him; he knows it’s partly Erwin’s heat affecting him, but in this case, it works in their favor. He wants so badly to push his tongue inside, to kiss and taste. In any other circumstances, without preparation, he’d consider it disgusting; but now, it appeals to him.

Erwin isn’t shy about pushing his hips up and chest down against the bed, spreading his legs for Levi as he pants, and Levi realizes why immediately.

When he first presses his tongue against Erwin’s hole—well-fucked and tender at this point—every cell in his body shudders in pleasurable unison at how right it feels.

Erwin shudders too, moaning long and low, too exhausted to even stroke his own cock. He’s probably sore there, too, since he’s barely had a break, and as Levi starts to fuck him with his tongue, it’s like he was made to do it. Everything is perfect, and the pheromones are heady; it feels like he’s getting to Erwin’s center, maybe the next best thing to knotting, and he thinks distantly that perhaps this is the omega body responding to him biologically. Maybe eating out Erwin at any other time—not that there would _be_ another time necessarily—wouldn’t feel the same.

All of his senses are on fire, and he burns hotter as Erwin lets out a hitched breath; Levi feels Erwin’s pleasure spike, and it’s like lightning. And that’s what makes Levi push his tongue inside—the feeling of Erwin’s pleasure, like he’s enjoying this rather than begging for release from pain.

The orgasm is weak, but Levi’s surprised he has anything left at all. It’s been days and his body is bone tired.

He collapses onto the bed, heaving breath, and when Levi says he’s going to inject him, Erwin just mutters something nonsensical about not being able to go again.

Levi shakes his head and administers the sedative easily. Erwin relaxes quickly, awkwardly rolled halfway onto his side as he falls asleep. It’s not that the sedative is that strong, but rather, Levi knows, that he’s reached his limit.

Levi takes a rag and wipes the come off Erwin’s stomach, cleans off the sheets as best he can, and positions him on his back; even though he’s relaxed, his expression looks troubled and on edge, and Levi reaches up to smooth his brow where he’s frowning.

He reacts to the touch immediately and his face goes lax, turning his head slightly so that Levi’s palm is against his cheek.

Levi doesn’t shy away, stroking his fingers over Erwin’s cheekbone, offering the attention an omega would expect of a worthy alpha; but the fact is that Levi would give it openly without any heat.

The fact is that he would give Erwin anything at all.

Maybe the heat is going to his head, but he doesn’t stop stroking Erwin’s face until he’s wedged up close against his side, knee bent up and resting over Erwin’s thigh. He pulls the single sheet up over them, and settles his head against Erwin’s shoulder, finally able to fall asleep himself.

When he wakes up again a few hours later, he can practically feel Erwin smiling.

“What are you so happy about?” he grumbles, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“I think the heat is finally starting to recede,” he replies. Levi sniffs a bit, and is gratified to realize that the needy heat scent isn’t nearly as strong as it was a few days prior. 

He nods in agreement but looks down slightly, feeling dread curl in his gut about the idea of Erwin continuing his previous line of questioning about how Levi had known he was an omega.

Unsurprisingly, Erwin picks up on it. “Are you afraid things will change?” His voice is hesitant, worried, and Levi immediately shakes his head.

“No.”

“Then what?” Erwin presses, unwilling to let it drop.

Levi keeps his eyes down and mumbles, “Ask me again in two days.”

That seems to sate Erwin’s curiosity for now, and he just nods. “Alright.”

There’s a short silence, and Levi’s surprised that Erwin isn’t in a rut by now. Over the last few days, he’s woken up every day either rubbing himself against the bed or Levi’s thigh, insistent albeit apologetic; today, though, he’s clear-headed enough to have this conversation. 

“When was the last time you bathed?”

The question comes out of nowhere, and Levi finally looks Erwin in the face again, his eyebrows raising. He immediately goes on the defensive, but Erwin shakes his head, recognizing the outrage immediately.

“You can go,” he offers, and then Levi understands—Erwin is giving him a break. “I’ll be fine.” The offer of being able to go and finally take a proper bath is one that Levi isn’t going to pass up. He feels filthy, and pulls away gratefully.

His back is stiff as he stands, and he twists slowly, waiting for it to pop and stretches his arms above his head. 

He makes sure to leave the door open as he walks out into the sitting room, making a sharp turn for the bathroom, but then stands there, waiting.

Erwin’s scent is a bit nervous, but nothing terrible; he really must be coming out of the heat then.

It takes some time to draw a bath, since he’s working with only the shitty kettle, and he only gets the tub half full before giving up and just sinking into the hot water.

He sighs, closing his eyes, and it’s absolute bliss.

Erwin’s pheromones drift in from the other room, pleased, and Levi lets a smile pass over his face before bending to scrub every inch of his skin clean.

He hopes tonight will be the easiest night, and then it’ll finally be over.

*

It’s the whimpering that wakes Levi up in the middle of the night; he blinks in the dark, gathering his wits, until he registers Erwin’s sweat slick body, violently shaking next to him.

Levi immediately presses close against Erwin’s back, rubbing a gentle hand up and down his side. His body is pure muscle, all ridges and a few scars, and Levi’s hand wanders to trace his ribs; he’s still not sure what’s going on.

“What’s wrong?” he murmurs quietly, not stopping the motion of his hand.

There’s no answer, so he waits; although there’s a chance Erwin will simply shiver off whatever horror he’s enduring and fall back asleep, Levi knows it’s not very likely.

The trembling grows severe enough that Levi starts shushing him, pressing his nose against Erwin’s shoulder blades and kissing him there, hoping it will help soothe the terror. He starts suddenly instead, and Levi knows he’s awake.

“Erwin?” he asks, smoothing his hand up to trace over Erwin’s bicep. “Are you awake?”

He feels Erwin’s muscles tense sharply, as if suddenly aware of his own shivering and trying to control it. Levi slides his hand down over the expanse of Erwin’s chest and belly to massage lightly; he knows now to look for the cramps there.

“Thought this part was over,” Erwin murmurs, his voice rough with fatigue.

Levi immediately glides his hand around, trailing along the small of Erwin’s back and down. He knows this routine well from doing it over and over the past few days. Erwin arches back against him, welcoming it, and he pushes lightly at Erwin’s hole with his fingers. 

They slip right in, and he searches for the prostate he knows is there, finding it almost immediately as he circles his finger lightly.

But it doesn’t seem to be doing what it usually does, and Erwin shudders tiredly.

“What do you need?” he asks objectively, pulling his fingers out.

“I…” Erwin hesitates, as if holding himself in check, “I need you inside.”

It takes Levi a moment to process the words and what they mean, but before he can respond, Erwin starts to plead, descending into the heat haze.

“Please, I need you to knot me, need you inside, Levi, please…” He sounds like he’s on the verge of tears, desperate and wounded, and Levi slides one hand up into the mess of blond hair that needs a good shampoo at this point.

“Okay,” he replies softly, pulling away slightly to undo his belt and push his pants off. 

So far, he’s tried to stay clothed, tried not to be too indulgent in the situation even though he’s had an erection for basically the entire time he’s been with Erwin; but now he’s happy to free himself of his clothing. He takes his shirt off, too, because it seems appropriate. Even though he’s here to help, he also refuses to make this impersonal; there’s no reason, and Erwin doesn’t seem to want it that way. 

His cock is already hard and ready, primed for Erwin’s body, and when Levi presses against him again and reaches down to spread Erwin open again, he’s rewarded with a drawn out, relieved moan.

Erwin’s ready and wet, hoisting his leg up and nearly trembling with need, and Levi pushes his cock forward slowly.

“Breathe,” he murmurs, sinking deeper as Erwin’s breath hitches.

The heat and pressure are incredible, and for a moment, Levi has to gather his wits to prevent his eyes from rolling back in his head and coming right then and there.

Erwin breathes as instructed, and Levi brushes his lips against the back of Erwin’s shoulders as he slowly starts to move his hips. “You feel good,” he murmurs, unable to keep quiet. “Is this what you need?”

But Erwin responds immediately to the words, fumbling for Levi’s hand. “Yeah,” he shivers, his grip painfully tight, as if he’s afraid to let go. 

They stop talking, and then the only sound in the room is the urgent slap of skin on skin, the heavy staccato breathing from both of them; Levi wants to keep talking, wants to hear Erwin talk back.

_Open up for me, fuck yes, that’s it, let me in, gonna make you come, I’ll protect you, talk to me…_

The thoughts flash through Levi’s head faster than he can even process them, heat overwhelming him. He doesn’t think as he reaches down to wrap his hand around Erwin’s cock, but then hesitates, wondering if he’s crossed a line; it’s the first time he’s actually touched Erwin like this.

But Erwin squeezes Levi’s hand as he pushes his hips back desperately in time with Levi’s thrusts. “Like that,” he pants, “Levi…”

“Give it to me,” Levi whispers, speeding the hard motions of his hips as he starts to stroke Erwin’s cock. “C’mon, come for me while I fuck you.”

That’s all it takes, and feels hot liquid spill over his hand accompanied by the shrill, ragged sound of Erwin’s voice, screaming as he comes, shuddering as Levi milks the orgasm out of him.

“Good,” Levi’s whispering, not sure what’s even coming out of his mouth at this point, babbling praise as he opens his mouth to bite possessively at Erwin’s shoulders. “That’s perfect.”

Erwin’s breath hitches wetly as Levi presses kisses against his back; and then suddenly, Levi realizes that he’s reaching up to wrap his fingers around Erwin’s neck, desperate for that scent gland.

He wants to bite, possess, take.

 _Mine, mine, mine_ every single cell in his body is vibrating, heartbeat hammering with the word, his breathing coming in shallow hard pants.

 _Mine._

But Erwin isn’t his; Erwin isn’t anyone’s.

“Fuck,” he murmurs, pressing his face against Erwin’s spine and forcing his hand away.

Then, he comes and he feels his cock knot inside Erwin’s body, filling him and joining them; Erwin lets out a cry caught somewhere between relieved and ecstatic, and then he gives a hysterical sound. It’s almost like laughter, as if he wants to say something and can’t, and then he relaxes.

Levi pulls him close, brushing gentle fingertips over his collarbones, pressing his nose against Erwin’s shoulder blades to calm his nerves. They lie like that for a long time, unspeaking, catching their breath; their hands remain clasped.

Over the course of the night, he knots Erwin at least four more times; the last time is in the early hours of the morning, and Levi is so exhausted he can barely keep his eyes open. He wanders in and out of sleep as he listens to Erwin breathe and waits for the knot to go down.

He’s almost surprised when he realizes that daylight is filtering through the window, pale but there, signaling morning proper has arrived.

Erwin stirs, and Levi realizes he’s awake; they’re still knotted together, but he knows it’s only going to last a few more minutes.

Their hands are still twined, and Levi tightens his grip instinctually. “You okay?”

There’s a short silence. “Yes,” comes Erwin’s soft reply.

“The knot is going down,” Levi offers as some poor form of consolation.

“How many times did we…”

“Several.”

“Did you…”

Levi feels a wave of protective instinct wash over him, and he tightens his arm around Erwin. “Every time,” he replies simply. 

“Thank you,” he says softly, and somehow, Levi doesn’t like the words; they’re too formal.

But he doesn’t have to wait long to escape as his knot goes down quickly, and he pulls out of Erwin with a wet sound; and just like that, he rolls off the bed, fumbling for his clothes.

His limbs are shaky with exhaustion as he tries to regain his wits, the cold air of the morning biting at his skin. “The heat is over,” he says as he pulls his discarded shirt up over his shoulders. It takes a full body effort, and his fingers tremble as he tries to fasten the buttons, hoping Erwin doesn’t notice. He can’t remember the last time he was this exhausted.

“How do you know?” Erwin looks at him, intrigued.

“I can smell it.” Levi replies, taking a deep breath and preparing to face the world again.

Erwin’s eyebrows raise, but then he nods in confirmation.

But Levi doesn’t waste time, suddenly eager to escape the room. Given the time, he figures it’s Mike’s watch, so he says as much. “Mike’s outside. I’ll tell him to help you back to the barracks when you’re ready.”

Erwin nods, and then pulls the sheets up in a sudden show of modesty that makes Levi feel self-conscious suddenly for the first time in days.

As he faces away to pull on his pants, do up the stays and gather up his gear haphazardly that he’d left in the doorway—not even bothering to put it back on—he turns.

“Erwin?”

That earns a surprised look when Erwin meets his eyes, and his gaze is intense, familiar; Levi looks away.

“Don’t forget your fucking suppressants,” he says softly with a slight smile, and then disappears out of the door on shaky legs.

*

“Where have you been?”

Levi jumps where he’s sitting in the barracks courtyard, practically spilling tea all over himself. He’s switched to jasmine, and he’s sure at least a bit of the stuff has gotten on his shirt.

Hanji perches herself next to him on the ledge he’s sitting on, glancing over in his direction before staring up into the sky.

“Around,” he answers, taking a composed sip of his tea.

She just shrugs, pointing at ominous clouds rolling. “Gonna rain.”

Levi shrugs, taking a sip of his tea indifferently.

“Around where?” she continues without missing a beat. “Erwin’s wondering.”

“No, he’s not,” Levi retorts knowingly with a dismissive snort. “So, why are you asking?”

Hanji takes an extended moment to pull of her glasses, tugging out the tail of her shirt to rub them clean, much to Levi’s chagrin. He makes a disgusted sound and looks away, shaking his head as he lets his nose linger in his teacup, inhaling the faint scent. 

However, he almost chokes when Hanji replies easily, “Did you mate?”

He stands up, refusing to indulge even Hanji in such a conversation; she reads the action for what it is, and shakes her head.

“Why are you avoiding him?”

“I’m not,” Levi grunts, frowning at her.

“Then why haven’t you…” she trails off, her brow furrowing. 

“What?” Levi demands, scowling now. He has no idea what else he could possibly do for Erwin that would earn the judgement and scrutiny of his fellow soldiers.

“Seen him?” Hanji replies easily, sliding her glasses back on to meet Levi’s eyes.

His mouth shuts abruptly, and he just stares at her, unblinking; she just stares back.

“I’ve been busy.”

“He’s lonely.” That earns Levi’s attention, but he’s doubtful.

“How so?”

“I can smell it.” Hanji shrugs, pushing her boot into the dirt idly.

“He takes suppressants,” Levi contradicts skeptically. But some part of his brain is prickling, as if warning him that he’s missing something.

“And I provide them.” Hanji is absolutely no nonsense as she stands up, looking at Levi levelly. “What did you do to him, Levi?”

Levi’s eyes just widen, legitimately surprised at the confrontation. “I didn’t do anything,” he blurts out, scowling. “We didn’t mate, I didn’t scent him, we didn’t do anything.”

Hanji stares at him for a moment, but then nods, even though she still looks wary.

“What?” he demands, feeling personally affronted now. “You don’t believe me?”

“No,” she says, shaking her head and standing up, “I believe you.”

“So, why are you looking at me that way?” he demands.

“Because,” she replies, no hesitation in her answer, “Erwin’s not acting like himself.” 

“How so?” Levi stands too, crossing his arms over his chest in disbelief.

That causes Hanji to struggle, biting her lip, eyebrows drawing together. “I’m not sure,” she finally says. “He just isn’t.”

“Thanks for the insight,” Levi retorts sarcastically, not in the mood for bullshit conjecture from the Survey Corps leading scientist, no matter how far they go back. “I have training to do.”

He starts to stalk away inside, but Hanji’s voice catches him. “He’s lonely.” There’s an awkward strain in her voice, and suddenly, Levi recognizes it as embarrassment; she didn’t even want to tell him. “It’s not a heat or his scent, but it’s there. Are you sure you didn’t mate?”

Levi’s mind is reeling. Hanji wouldn’t say something so outlandish unless there was some truth to it, but how she could ever sense such a thing is incomprehensible. “We didn’t,” he finally states firmly. 

And that’s all it takes to finally drive Hanji away; Levi hits the obstacle course twice that day, leaping and slicing until his limbs are so tired, he can’t stay awake for more than a minute once collapsing into bed.

*

He refuses to think too much about his and Hanji’s conversation after that, instead planning for a good time to enter Erwin’s office. It feels strange to stay away for so long, but he wasn’t sure what to expect

He gathers jasmine tea as an apology for being absent, and then simply pushes the door open and sets the cup on Erwin’s desk, talking about something he doesn’t even register. He’s relatively sure he’s complaining about cadets and their bullshit, even though he’s only here to see Erwin. 

And as soon as Levi sees him sitting there behind his desk—blond air neatly slicked back, calm expression, and a slight surprised smile upon Levi’s entrance—he feels relief wash through him and ducks his head.

He snatches the field reports from the corner of the desk as if he hasn’t been gone for four days.

Erwin is pleased, but also uneasy; that much Levi can tell, regardless of the suppressants. It doesn’t take pheromones for him to be able to tell when Erwin is nervous, so Levi says simply, “I can’t smell you.”

He flips the first page of the report casually.

Erwin immediately relaxes, though he still stares at Levi intently as he takes a sip of the tea.

“New flavor?” he asks, his voice level and not giving anything away.

Levi shrugs, his eyes still fixed on the report. “I’m tired of peppermint.” The truth is, he figured _Erwin_ would be tired of peppermint, or it might remind him of unwelcome things. It’s a small courtesy given what he’d trusted Levi to do and see.

He still doesn’t look at Erwin; there’s a soft sigh he can’t place the nature of, then words. “Change is good.”

*

That night, Levi doesn’t think as he pulls his clothes off, shuts the door softly behind him and locks it, trying to clear his mind as he collapses onto the narrow bed.

He wasn’t sure what to expect when he saw Erwin again, but their first interaction was not only uneventful, but downright ordinary.

This doesn’t stop the fact that seeing him again has reminded Levi exactly how much he’s attached to Erwin, how strange life seems without being at his side constantly.

Levi’s not sure where the heat in his body comes from when he thinks of Erwin that day, sipping his tea and being his usual self; nothing out of the ordinary to inspire lust. 

And Levi’s not even sure what he feels could be called lust. It might be an aftermath of the heat—not that he’s going to ask Hanji _that_ question—but somehow, it doesn’t seem to match. The urge he has to strip naked and have Erwin every way he possibly can isn’t the same sensation as before. It’s not protection or instinctual; it’s simply want.

 _He’s lonely._

Levi doesn’t even bother to light a lamp as he unceremoniously shoves down his pants down around his thighs and himself in hand, cock already slick with precome, and starts to fuck his own fist.

“Fuck,” he hisses, letting his eyes fall shut as he arches his back, tipping his chin up.

_Erwin, fingers, tongue, moans._

Levi doesn’t even remember what goes where now, who’s fucking who, who’s moaning and begging.

He can only hear himself whispering, “Erwin, Erwin, yeah…” as he thrusts up into the tight circle of his fingers, and then he orgasms, his body going stiff as his cock spurts come.

He scowls at himself in disgust once he comes to his senses, pulling his hand away from his own cock angrily, furious that he’s given into the alpha howling inside him.

But as he forces himself to sit up, ignore how sensitive his cock is now; he defaults to attributing it to the heat, because that’s easy and logical.

Not to the expression Erwin’s face when he tasted the new tea, not when Levi had finally seen him for the first time in days, not to the Erwin’s unconvincing statement that change is good.

Levi sighs, exasperated at himself, and finally thinks it must be his own heat, rearing its ugly head; maybe set off by Erwin’s. Considering anything else is unacceptable.

He resolves to stop indulging in madness and cleans himself up, scowling the entire time.

*

Levi intensifies his training, hoping to sweat out the fever that’s started to burn through his body whenever he thinks of Erwin now, conjures up those sounds he remember. 

Maybe he’s actually losing his mind.

Regardless, it’s a relief to be able to spend time in Erwin’s office again, not feeling like he needs to stay away; though, it’s still not as much as before. Nonetheless, what happened becomes a thing of the past with each day. 

The stone cold fact, though, is that they didn’t mate, and that’s the end of it. Levi wouldn’t have wanted to under those circumstances anyway.

His ankle is holding up well, and every day he goes a little harder, taking sharper turns and staying out on the training field longer. He spends time surveying the new cadets, assessing their life expectancies as they fumble through their new roles as soldiers. Most of them are talented, which heartens him a bit. 

His mind is on other things when he shows up in Erwin’s office one afternoon after he knows the new field reports have come in. Erwin hates them and always leaves them for last, much more interested in reading the goings on in the Capital and advice for funding. But Levi likes the field reports; there’s something reassuringly dull about them, as if they can be studied and pondered at length without drama. They’re dry, simple facts that come from various branches of the governing body: population count, levels of food supply, even routine maintenance on the Wall. Erwin already knows most of it anyway, but Levi likes to read through them.

“How’s your ankle?” Erwin’s voice is cordial as he frowns in concentration reading a letter, intent on each word.

“Better,” Levi answers honestly, dropping into his usual chair across from Erwin as he scans the desk for any official seals or other confirmation that they’re going out anytime soon. They both know it’s only a matter of time, but things have been suspiciously quiet from the monarchy.

He does eye the letter Erwin’s reading, though. “New expedition?”

Erwin grunts, glancing up at Levi to raise an amused eyebrow at his eagerness. “No,” he monotones, “just death notices and letters from nobles asking for absurd things.”

If there’s one thing nobles love, it’s a good story they can tell as if it’s their own, but is really something they simply slapped their money on.

Levi’s ankle chooses that moment to throb mildly, and he starts to think maybe he overdid it a bit. He rarely takes off his boots or shoes unless he’s in his own quarters, retiring to bed, but he doesn’t mind around Erwin. There have been plenty of times he’s lounged around the office as if the space were his own; Erwin doesn’t seem to mind either.

However, when he bends to start undoing his boot, there’s a rustle of papers as Erwin pushes the entire pile away from him. Levi immediately straightens, his back stiff, as he watches the action; tension suddenly rises in the room, but he has no idea why.

“What were you going to tell me?” Erwin asks, blurting out the question without finesse. Erwin isn’t generally an awkward person, and Levi raises his eyebrows in surprise at the break in decorum.

“What?” 

Erwin takes a slow breath, and Levi braces himself. “During that week,” he begins, and Levi’s shoulders stiffen, “you said you already knew what I was.”

Ah. That’s what this is about, and Levi most definitely isn’t in the mood to talk about that, of all things.

He re-fastens his boot, moving quickly as he stands to retreat out the door, but Erwin’s stops him, his voice cold and authoritative. “How?” he insists. “Don’t leave until you answer.”

That stops Levi in his tracks, and he glares at Erwin, assessing his posture and expression; the vast majority of Levi’s instincts are telling him to go against the order, but he stays put. That reaction in and of itself ought to answer Erwin’s question better than words ever could, but sometimes, Erwin doesn’t seem to see what’s right in front of his face.

“You know my last name,” Levi grunts, crossing his arms over his chest obstinately. “I share it with Mikasa, Eren Jaeger’s shadow, the one who was valued at the strength of one hundred soldiers.”

Mikasa can be a bit of an idiot when it comes to Eren, but Levi knows that feeling of protection all too well; he also hasn’t failed to realize that the shared last name is no coincidence, and that Mikasa is as lethal at fifteen as he was. Only someone put two swords in her hand and told her to kill things; it makes him wonder what she’ll be like at his age, if he survives that long.

Nonetheless, the statement seems to take Erwin by surprise, and he settles back to listen.  
“Ackerman,” he remarks, hand in his chin as his brow furrows in thought. “Is that a name I should know outside my best soldiers?”

Levi snorts, staring at Erwin incredulously. Not to mention he’s giving that tiny, bizarre smile he sometimes does when he’s privately amused, which only makes Levi’s dismissal more pointed. He doesn’t like this conversation, and Erwin’s going to know about it.

“You might,” he finally answers, but this time he offers a serious warning. “If you hear the name, be careful.” Kenny hasn’t been around for a long time, but there’s no way he’s dead; Levi is actually legitimately surprised that they haven’t run into him in so many years. He always had a hand in the Military Police corruption pot, whether benefiting from it or killing people.

“Why?” Erwin asks, his eyes serious now as he studies Levi intently.

Levi hesitates, but then decides it’s worth telling Erwin about Kenny. It might become relevant sooner than they even know, given how things are going in the Capital and within the Walls themselves. There’s an increasing need for killers nowadays.

“I had an uncle,” he starts hesitantly, feeling a bit like a trapped animal as Erwin corners him. “He was my mother’s brother, from what I could tell, but I haven’t seen him since I was eleven.”

Levi can tell that the information is already burning brightly in Erwin’s mind, the gears in his head turning as he processes it. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he replies after a moment, though his voice is genuinely grateful. “But…” He frowns mildly, studying Levi, obviously having not forgotten his question has gone unanswered.

Levi sighs, giving up the fight. Better to just get this over with. “Mikasa is Eren’s shadow. Have you ever wondered why such a talented soldier hangs around such a weak kid?”

Erwin’s answer is diplomatic, but he looks curious. “I understand their story is complicated,” he replies obliquely, folding his hands neatly in front of him on the desk.

Levi rolls his eyes, knowing it’s obvious that Eren is a mediocre soldier. It’s clear to anyone who’s ever trained him or commanded him, regardless that he can shift.

“You believe Eren is incapable,” Erwin guesses, his eyes more curious than surprised now. 

It’s not that Levi dislikes Eren or wishes to see harm come to him. He’s also not someone near and dear to Levi’s heart—as not many are—but he’s extremely useful. What’s more important, he’s extremely useful to Erwin and the Survey Corps.

“No,” he replies bluntly. “He’s as capable as any other mediocre soldier, only he’s been given an inhuman power. Ultimately, he’s a tool.”

“But that’s not your point,” Erwin guesses, his voice infuriatingly calm, adopting that meandering tone he sometimes does when he’s thinking too hard. Levi’s not in the mood for thinking too hard.

“No shit,” he hisses, scowling. The longer this conversation goes on, the more he’s dreading the confession. “Shut up and let me finish, old man.”

He doesn’t mean for his scent to spike, overriding his own suppressants, a small burst of alpha pheromones even he can smell with the outburst of emotion, and he steps back quickly. Erwin is staring at him in surprise, and then something like self-consciousness crosses his face slightly; Levi immediately feels like an idiot.

“Sorry,” he mutters, retreating a few steps, not knowing what else to say. It hadn’t been intentional, but usually when alphas would emit their scents in such a way, it was presented as a warning issued by a dominant party.

“So, finish,” Erwin grunts, rising to face Levi with his hands behind his back. Levi is immediately reminded of just how much taller Erwin is, and somehow, it’s reassuring.

There’s a short silence, and Levi looks at the floor, not wanting to meet Erwin’s eyes. “We’re different,” Levi finally admits quietly, clenching his fists. “Ackermans. We all have something in common.” 

“What’s that?” Erwin asks expectantly. Levi knows the obvious answer is some kind of enhanced battle skill, something passed down through bloodlines, but that’s not what it is.

“I don’t know how accurate this is,” Levi continues with a slight shrug, “but we… choose someone.” He can feel his stomach flip, and his entire body is fighting to keep the words in. “Someone who…”

He stops, scowling, unable to finish the humiliating admission.

“Who is… what?” Erwin prompts, sounding totally baffled. 

“Who we _answer to_ ,” Levi spits, feeling frustration rise up. He trusts and follows Erwin by his own volition, but there’s something unsettling about the fact that there’s another force at work, pushing him toward certain people. The honest truth, though, is that he embraces it, because it feels right.

But Erwin seems to take the statement hard. “You don’t answer to anyone,” he replies softly, his eyes troubled as he rounds his desk. Levi knows he’s thinking of the past: the necessity of answering to blackmail (Erwin), to unfair loss (the Titans), to the humiliation of scorn as they return from expeditions (humanity). But this obedience isn’t the same, because it’s _a choice_ , as so few things are in life for most people. “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel, after all this time, that you had to—”

Levi despises the genuine apology in his voice—because fuck Erwin for having to be so many things at once, to so many people—and Levi interjects. “And it’s always an omega.” He keeps his voice cold, wanting Erwin to turn him away so he doesn’t have to talk about this anymore.

He opens his mouth, but Levi catches him first, not wanting to discuss it. “I’m your shadow,” he hisses venomously. But he’s not angry at Erwin he’s angry at all the ways they’ve both been pulled apart and dissected lately, studied by each other in the most vulnerable of ways.

But before Erwin can say anything to that, Levi’s already out the door, slamming it shut behind him as he stalks down the hallway. 

*

Levi doesn’t go barefoot.

It’s a well known fact in the Survey Corps for anyone who’s ever been around him in the barracks. Even in the summer, when soldiers had their monthly day off and would go barefoot in the grass, Levi doesn’t.

People assume it’s his aversion to dirt, and although this is true to a degree, going barefoot is about more than filthy floors. Bare feet means there’s no easy escape, no ready defense. It’s for going to bed, of settling into soft things, like grass or sheets, sometimes with someone else.

Contrarily, Levi likes Erwin’s bare feet. He learns this after the fact, when there’s time to recall details about that week that don’t make him feel guilty—giving Erwin something he needed, since it’s rare he needs anything.

But once Levi starts thinking about how Erwin’s feet would brush his—also barefoot—in the bed in the morning, small touches that were about reassurance as much as they were for the joy of touching in general, he can’t stop.

He remembers, not the sex, but the way his fingers fit in the dip of Erwin’s waist, the sharpness of his hipbones and the curve of his ribs. He remembers the way blond hair fell across Erwin’s forehead, how his eyebrows were relaxed when he was able to sleep. He remembers how he liked the way his head fit on Erwin’s shoulder, how it felt natural and right.

And although these things aren’t details that he ought to keep for himself, he finds that those are things long coming for him. The physical reality has simply been confirmed.

He becomes simultaneously greedy and guilty for the memories, one moment shutting out those details that aren’t his to hold; the next, thrusting up into his own hand, head tipped back against the bed as he moans out Erwin’s name.

Empty lust is sated by sex; want, however, is something else entirely. Levi’s _want_ is as much about how Erwin moved with him as it is about the way their bare feet brushed as they slept.

And fuck if Levi just can’t get over it already. He starts to wonder, in his crazier moments, if they did mate and he just doesn’t remember.

But he knows deep down that it’s just him, and it’s always been so; he wonders if the day of reckoning will finally come.

It does one night when he’s just gotten out of the bath after taking a long soak to get all the dirt and sweat off himself from a day that had turned hot and muggy. 

There’s a knock at the door and he freezes, and he has no doubt who it is that would be seeking him in the late evening. It’s a soft sound, and Levi can already tell Erwin is trying to tread lightly.

Levi is quite literally treading lightly, because his feet are bare, but he leaves them that way. He’s in his own quarters, after all, not Erwin’s office, where it’s been made clear that bare feet and casual sitting arrangements are no longer welcome. 

“Erwin,” he says as he swings the door open. Although he knew who it was by the knock, he’s still surprised, wondering what he could have possibly come to discuss in Levi’s private rooms. It’s rare Erwin ventures out of his usual places, much less to seek out Levi. Then again, usually he simply doesn’t have to.

“May I come in?”

Levi raises his eyebrow at the formality, but shrugs, opening the door wider. He sees Erwin glance around curiously, his eyes pausing at the nightstand which Levi realizes still has a borrowed book—pilfered, at this point, since he never intends to give it back. He’s found that one of his favorite things to do in his spare time, rare as it is, is to read about how herbs are made into tea, especially ones from outside the Walls.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, crossing his arms and staring at Erwin. 

He sees Erwin’s eyes dart down to his state of undress now, and he’s suddenly self-conscious, feeling too vulnerable under that heavy blue stare.

“Nothing is wrong,” Erwin replies after a moment, folding his hands behind his back and clearing his throat.

Levi tries not to follow the instinct to sniff the air to work out Erwin’s thoughts; after that week, his first instinct is to go by scent if he can’t read Erwin’s mood. But he immediately chides himself for the impulse and turns away to light another lamp. He still doesn’t know why Erwin’s here.

“So, why are you here?”

“I have a question about this bond.” Levi’s shoulders stiffen, and he straightens his posture; he can hear Erwin take a few steps back, obviously trying to give him space. He’s suddenly defensive, not able to understand why Erwin can’t simply leave this alone.

If he can force himself to stop remembering the shape of Erwin’s hips under his fingers, he’d at least expect the same courtesy.

“Is it like having a mate?”

Levi sighs, glancing over his shoulder at Erwin in exasperation. “No.”

“Like… a heat?”

Levi frowns, rolling his eyes, but chooses to answer anyway.

“No.” He starts to think Erwin’s finally lost it or he’s missing something, but when he turns to meet his eyes, he finds absolutely no hint of what his Commander is thinking. “Why?”

“Why haven’t I seen you?” 

Levi opens his mouth and shuts it, not expecting the blunt question. Erwin is a relatively straightforward person, but it’s unlike him to point out something so strangely personal. It’s no secret he enjoys Levi’s company, and vice versa, but to state it aloud, pose a question that makes it an expectation, is another thing altogether.

At first, Levi isn’t even sure how to respond, so he just shrugs. “Maybe you’ve just been distracted.” He knows it’s a bullshit answer, but he doesn’t even know what else to say; he’s no longer a stranger in Erwin’s office, but he’s certainly not there as much as he normally was before the heat.

But if Erwin has something to say, he can say it; otherwise, Levi is tired of this never-ending confrontation, tired of remembering Erwin naked in the peaceful moments, tired of how peppermint tea makes him feel more at home than he’s ever felt in his life.

The words come in a torrent, hitting Levi like cold water. “Why did you choose me? Why did you choose me, instead of killing me?”

And there it is—what Erwin has clearly wanted to ask for weeks, the prying question he can’t let go of.

Levi scowls, feeling anger warm his veins, a comforting emotion since it’s familiar.

“I wanted to kill you,” he retorts, resentful of being pushed into this corner. “I hated you, and I hated you after joining the Corps.” The more the words come, the easier they are to say, and he juts his chin out, resisting the urge to back away. “I hated you for a long time.”

“And what happened?” Erwin counters, meeting Levi’s eyes and locking them into a staring contest. “What changed?”

Neither one of them speak, and Levi narrows his eyes; he doesn’t want Erwin’s questions, he wants anger. Anger is safe, familiar, rational.

But then, Erwin unexpectedly extends a peace offering, and he looks ragged, utterly spent; his eyes look more tired than they did after his heat.

“I’m asking,” he says softly, glancing away to stare at Levi’s shoulder. “It’s a question you don’t have to answer, but I’m _asking_.” His voice grows quiet on the last word, a little hoarse, and Levi cracks.

He shakes his head, sighing silently. “It’s not like a heat or a mate,” he says. “I think it was the second expedition outside the Walls.” He can’t bear to look at Erwin now, can’t bear this conversation, but he keeps talking nonetheless. “And I noticed the air finally. It’s fresher out there, not like the stink in this prison.”

Erwin shifts, but he just stands there, listening intently.

“Your words are pretty. You get terrified kids to join the Corps, even though there’s a good chance they’re going to die. You even convinced me not to kill you.”

The truth is, Levi barely remembers what Erwin said to him that day; the din in his head of rage and grief had been too loud to ignore. But he does remember the look in Erwin’s eyes, the set of his mouth and jaw, the stubbornness and earnest belief in what he was doing and the cost.

Levi just isn’t quite sure when the memory of that mouth as a harbinger of death and inevitably changed into something softer, something in the present that he wanted, something he wanted to kiss and bite and make _his_. He could blame it on the heat, but he knows that’s not what it is.

“It took me a long time to stop listening to what you said,” he says softly, meeting that unwavering gaze head-on now, “and start listening to what you don’t say.”

That earns a surprised look, and Levi knows he still doesn’t understand.

“Why did you stop listening to me?” Erwin asks, his voice uncertain.

“To protect you.” Levi is hushed, feeling as if he speaks too loud, the entire world will know his every secret. “That’s how the bond mostly is—the urge to protect.” He looks up and frowns, though. “But it’s still a choice. It’s not a heat or some animalistic desperation.” 

Erwin looks completely dumbfounded, and Levi watches him carefully, trying to figure out what’s going through his head.

“What could I have possibly to done to inspire that type of devotion?”

Levi doesn’t know whether to kiss him or punch. “You gave me air,” he replies, getting closer, feeling like he’s approaching the edge of a precipice he can’t back away from. “You gave me freedom.”

Erwin just stares at him dumbly, his eyes wide and unguarded for once, and Levi can’t stand it anymore.

He grabs him, and to his slight surprise, Erwin already has his shoulders as they collide. 

Erwin’s kisses are feverish and hot, kissing Levi’s jaw and neck, one hand sliding up to tangle in Levi’s hair. Levi’s fingers are suddenly clumsy as he struggles to get Erwin’s shirt undone, desperately wanting to touch that skin again, bite and suck at his nipples and taste Erwin in all the ways he couldn’t during the heat, wants to hear him moan and cry out for reasons other than pain.

Erwin’s breathy hiss of “fuck” makes Levi’s cock throb, and he closes his eyes, sliding his hand between Erwin’s legs.

“Fuck,” Levi echoes, pushing his forehead against Erwin’s shoulder, feeling small against his much larger frame. He breathes in, and realizes Erwin smells like fresh ink; it must be on his fingers from before, probably a report, but he knows it now. He knows what Erwin smells like under the suppressant, knows the air Erwin gave him. 

A shiver runs through him as Erwin pushes him back toward the bed, and Levi presses up against him, back arching sharply. Erwin seems to like the reaction, pushing his nose against Levi’s scent gland and inhaling deeply.

Levi lands on his back, pulling Erwin with him as fingers and lips skim over his skin—mouth, neck, the inside of his wrist—and then his clothes are being pulled off, and Erwin is staring at him. 

He stares back. Erwin’s eyes are impossibly blue, boring through him, heated and full of longing; and then suddenly he’s descending, pressing his mouth against Levi’s chest and stroking his cock.

“Erwin,” Levi gasps, almost embarrassed at the breathlessness of his own voice. He barely recognizes himself, and he moans Erwin’s name again brokenly, uncaring, as he pushes his hips up.

“I’m here,” he hears Erwin whisper against his shoulder, kissing him there.

“Get your fucking clothes off,” Levi replies gruffly, rolling over to wrap his leg around Erwin and rub against him, before forcing himself to pull away so Erwin can get out of his clothes.

Blessedly, the clothes come off quickly, but Levi can tell that Erwin’s dazed, unable to stop staring; then, the world flips as he’s on top again, Levi pressed against the mattress.

He splays his hands wide against Erwin’s shoulder blades—a part of his body he knows so well at this point—palm pressed flat as he savors the feeling of skin and spine, sliding up into Erwin’s hair as they start to move against each other, cocks sliding together, slick with precome. 

Levi tips his head back, letting out a mewling sound he can’t even find the wherewithal to silence as Erwin mouths hotly at his neck, nose pressed against Levi’s jaw as a large hand envelopes their cocks, stroking them together, moving quickly.

Levi comes hard with a sharp cry and arch of his back, tugging at Erwin’s hair unapologetically. Heat washes over him as he hears Erwin’s low-pitched voice, colored by arousal, hiss, “Fuck.” Erwin presses their foreheads together as Levi slowly rides out his orgasm, and then he’s reminded of that same gesture in a different context. It’s always been about comfort.

“Want you,” Levi murmurs at him as he shimmies out from underneath Erwin, pushing him onto his back and kissing down his stomach.

He takes Erwin’s balls in his fingers, squeezing gently as he leans forward to kiss and mouth at Erwin’s hipbones lazily. His skin smells clean, with the faint taste of salt brought on from the exertion of their bodies.

“Levi.”

Levi is roused out of his trance as Erwin says his name more softly than anyone ever has, with more tenderness than he can practically bear, and then he’s being pulled up.

Erwin slides his fingers tantalizingly down Levi’s back, obvious in his intent, and Levi starts to pant. “Yeah,” he murmurs, pressing his cheek against Erwin’s chest, “fuck, yes.” He’s trying not to tremble as he mutters, “Top drawer,” hoping Erwin gets the hint.

But thankfully, Erwin, being the smart man he is, finds the lubricant without much trouble. Levi is impatient, uncorking it and seizing Erwin’s hand to pour it onto his fingers. That earns a quiet, warm laugh that makes Levi’s heart speed up, and he melts down against Erwin as the hand trails down the small of his back again.

The finger that teases at his hole is slick and warm, and he groans, spreading his legs; he wants it so badly, more than anything he can remember, wants Erwin inside. 

“Good?”

The finger presses inside, and Levi keens, pushing back against it desperately. “Yeah,” he groans, his voice breathless, “keep doing that.” He can’t control his pounding heart, just as out of control as his voice and breath. “Erwin, _fuck_ …”

It’s all a blur as Levi begs, one finger, then two, and he has a hand clawed desperately around Erwin’s arm, and although Levi vaguely registers he could probably break the bone if he gripped too hard, Erwin allows it.

They kiss, and Levi wants more than fingers, wants Erwin’s cock the same way he has for a long time. He can admit it now, as Erwin kisses him back enthusiastically; Levi can finally answer to himself.

“I want you to fuck me.”

He grabs the lube without further comment, intoxicated with the way Erwin watches him so closely, the same intensity with which he looks at forbidden books.

Levi slicks him up, letting Erwin fuck up into the tight ring of his fingers, and their eyes meet. He watches as Erwin falls apart, hair mussed now and out of place, a few blond strands falling across his forehead; it makes him look oddly boyish, and Levi smiles at him slightly.

He holds that blue, slightly awed gaze—the look that says Erwin’s still not sure whether this is real—as he positions himself over Erwin’s cock, and then slowly sinks down until Erwin’s seated fully inside.

Levi whines, arching his back as he rises up and then sinks back down, reveling in the heat, the small sound Erwin makes in counterpart as Levi takes him fully in.

Suddenly, Erwin’s sitting up and pulling Levi into his lap properly, all brute strength and desperation as he pulls them close and starts to fuck him in short, hard thrusts, murmuring nonsense. Levi wraps his legs tightly around Erwin’s waist, arms about broad shoulders, and he pressing his face against Erwin’s neck.

“ _Ah,_ Erwin…” The name jumps out of his throat like a stone skipping across water, a path that, once set into motion, can’t be stopped.

“Good?” he growls, his grip tight and possessive around Levi’s body. Levi moans sharply as Erwin shifts his angle and hits something just right. “You feel so good, Levi…”

Levi’s eyes are closed as he accepts what Erwin’s giving him and he nips and kisses at Erwin’s neck, not realizing exactly where his mouth has ended up until Erwin goes rigid.

Just as Levi’s about to jerk away with an apology, his heart skips a beat as Erwin simply tilts his head to the side, the invitation clear.

Levi doesn’t even think as he bites down carefully, an explosion behind his eyelids as Erwin stutters out a sharp moan, and his body screams with it: _mine, mine, mine._

“I’m yours,” Erwin whispers, keeping his head tilted as Levi marks him, rubbing their scents together, and he jerks violently as he orgasms, breath catching. Then, they both exhale together.

It takes some time to recover after that. Levi likes the feeling of Erwin inside of him, even now, but eventually he has to pull off, collapsing next to Erwin lazily. He still licks at Erwin’s neck, breathing deeply, touching his side and smoothing fingers over skin for no other reason than how much he wants to.

“What is this?” Erwin asks quietly after a few minutes.

Levi’s words come easily now. “Remembering to breathe.” He lets his fingers circle over Erwin’s shoulder, then down to rest on his ribs, closing his eyes.

Levi knows Erwin’s accepted the answer when he sighs, turning his head slightly to rub his cheek against Levi’s hair.

And so, Levi lies there with his mate, his chosen sun that he will follow from the edge of day to night and back again, and listens to him breathe.

**Author's Note:**

> As I mentioned in the first part, I'm taking some liberties with canon here about whether or not Levi has any awareness of the Ackerbond as an actual thing, but for the purposes of the story, he does. :D
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! As always, feedback and comments craved and appreciated!! <3
> 
> I have a [tumblr](http://flecksofpoppy.tumblr.com/)! Feel free to say hello. :D


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